I meant to blog last night but I was too exhausted. Our nightweaning continues with some successes and some obstacles, but the short story is that Tiger hasn't nursed between being put down to bed and 4:30 or 5am the last two nights. Oh sure, he's not happy about it and certainly lets us know that, but we're all getting by and during the days he's happy as can be, maybe even happier. A little bit less clingy too. I think me and DH are getting less sleep than Tiger through this process and we're back to work tomorrow- why are these things so hard? Whine whine.
Trying to find a sleep plan that works for our family and our parenting style has really proved a challenge, but we've cobbled together something that seems to be gradually working. Although I'm exhausted still from lack if sleep, my body feels so much better and stronger because I'm not nursing all night. And I'm already starting to like nursing again, instead of feeling burdened by it. I think my nursing relationship with Tiger will be better because of nightweaning and we'll be able to go on nursing for a while longer. Huge relief!
Anyway, night #2 was a mixed bag. Tiger cried 40 minutes when DH put him down, asked for a bottle (goat's milk) and then slept 5 hours (huzzah!). DH and I slept in the guest bedroom, but I didn't sleep at all. Bed was too small, but mostly I was too anxious waiting for Tiger to wake. When he did, DH went in and laid by the crib. 1 1/2 hours of crying and then intermittently crying and sleeping and Tiger drifted off for 2 1/2 hours. This anxious guilt-ridden momma played movie trivia on her iPhone and watched the clock in the other room. I finally slept when Tiger did and when he awoke, it was 5 and DH and I agreed, ok to nurse. I was bursting anyway. I nursed him a good 20 minutes and we both slept in our bed until 7:30. The next day, besides a hoarse voice, Tiger showed no signs of trauma or anger. DH and I dragged ass all day. I was dreading that night.
Night #3 went even better. Tiger took 2 great naps during the day (rare for him), so he went down a bit late. He was crying hard when DH put him down and we thought we were in for a long night. But, then I heard Tiger speaking, demanding something. Turned out, he wanted a "baba" so I brought up the warm goat's milk. By the time I got back downstairs, there was silence. I was confused. Had he keeled over from anger and stress? DH came down and it turned out once Tiger was given his baba, he sat down in his crib, took a couple sips and laid down to sleep. Huh. Was the milk poisoned? No, seriously. Was he breathing? What the hell had happened? DH and I snuggled on the couch, too tired to do much else, watching a movie.
I went to bed in our room around 10:30 and Tiger woke up at midnight. Off to the couch with me while DH comforted. 10 mins later all was silent and I got a text from DH that Tiger was asleep. I woke up at 4am on the couch to round 2. DH told me later that Tiger had been in and out of sleep during those hours, but I hadn't heard. By the time I got up there, it was 4:30 and DH was wrecked so I nursed tiger (bursting again) sitting on the edge of the bed then put him in his crib. He clung to me with his crazy strong legs and arms, trying to climb up and over me screaming. He did not want that crib but I made myself put him down. I then went back to the couch to wait what I was sure would be an hour. Less than 5 minutes later, I got the all clear text and headed back to our bed. We slept until 7:00 when I heard Tiger get up- he was standing in his crib looking at me, not crying. We nursed and got up for the day while DH made up for lost sleep.
So, definitely not the long stretches we're hoping for but better than I'd feared. DH and I have talked a lot and decided not to move Tiger's crib to his own room just yet- seems like a lot of big change at once. However, it's hard because for now it seems I need to be out of the room a lot or Tiger wakes and won't go back down. We're fumbling with this part- any suggestions?
I'm still tired and as I write this Tiger is doing a second nap in the parked car in the grocery store parking lot. DH has class tonight so he'll get home just in time for stories and to put baby down. I'm hoping for more rest tonight or it's going to be a long work week! But we've committed to 10 days and I am really enjoying not nursing at night so I'm going to stick with it. The crying sucks, but with DH in the room as Tiger cries, I'm not feeling like it's taking a toll on him emotionally. It's hard to tell but my mommy gut tells me it's OK. Honestly, Tiger's been giving me more hugs and kisses (without pawing at my boobs) these last couple of days. It's lovely. We're talking to Tiger a lot about what's going on too and he's understanding. Hopefully, putting all this in writing will help me stay the course when I'm exhausted and tender hearted in the middle of the night!
Thoughts? Suggestions?
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