The end has been rather anti-climactic. Tiger has been down to only one nursing session for many months. After his little brother was born, Tiger had regressed back to nursing or asking/demanding to nurse way more frequently than he had been. All a natural reaction to the changes taking place and seeing a newborn nursing all the time. But, the last couple of months he was down to only nursing at bedtime just for 10 seconds or so each side as part of his bedtime routine - not to sleep or anything. In the weeks leading up to weaning him, I talked to him every night about being a big boy and not needing to nurse anymore. I told him we'd have a party with a cake to celebrate no more nursing and I cut his nightly nursing sessions even shorter. In the end, there was no cake, no party; I just let it quietly go. I decided to normalize it rather than make it a big deal. And so one night, at the appointed time, when he asked to nurse I said "no" and gently reminded him that he is a big boy. He threw a minor tantrum. Then I told him a story about one of his favorite trains and said goodnight. Upon leaving his room, I told him to have sweet dreams and he said "thanks, mom." Grown up in so many ways, this little man of almost 3 years. It's been almost 2 weeks and he's asked to nurse every night but one. He starts to whine when I say no, but he's easily pacified by our new ritual of making up stories together. He fills in the names of trains and certain plot points. Every story is about him and his brother taking adventures on the trains and all end with them falling asleep holding hands. I knew I needed something to sub in for the nursing, something that would comfort and relax him. The story telling was improvised. So much of this parenting thing is just making shit up and seeing if it works. This worked. For now. And so the transition has been pretty seamless.
I have no regrets about ending my nursing relationship with Tiger. I wish I could have done so during my pregnancy, but it would have been so traumatic and such a struggle. Like with his sleep issues, I waited until I sensed he was ready and could handle it, even though it was way longer than I wanted it to be, and so the change has been easier on him and on me. I'm hoping to wean Dragon much earlier, around his first birthday, to give myself and my body a rest and a break. I need that. I deserve that.
Anyway, I suppose I'm another example proving that extended breast feeding doesn't mess up your kid - Tiger is lovely. He's funny and smart as hell and really affectionate. He's also a crazy toddler tyrant like all kids at his age. Also, all kids wean eventually. You just have to assess when neither of you is really benefiting from the relationship anymore and make the change to something different. And so another milestone passes and another chapter begins. The days of Tiger's sleep issues we struggled and fought through at the beginning of this blog are long behind us. I love walking out of his room with him still awake, bidding him goodnight and knowing he'll go to sleep on his own and sleep through most every night. These things all work out in the end. And the torture we put ourselves through as parents trying to make our child's behaviors fit into what we want them to be or what other kids are doing is just wasted energy. I worry so much, too much. The blessing of a second child is the relaxation and confidence that accompany it. It helps me let go of Tiger a little bit too. He's fine, he's more than fine. So is Dragon. And me. Our little family is OK. It's all changing but it's OK. Goodnight. Sweet dreams. I'll see you in the morning.
