Nutcracker? Sweet!

DH and I are not Christian. In fact, we don't believe in god as put forth by judaeo-Christian religions. We are, in fact Buddhists. So, we've struggled over the last 10 years since we've been together and especially the 4 we've been married, with what to do about Christmas. Now that we have Tiger, that question has become even more important. Just what do the holidays mean to us and what do we want to impart to our kid? What kind of traditions work for our family?
This is not an easy question to answer and I've realized it's something we'll be figuring out a little bit every year. You might think that this would put us in a place of being exclusive- being clear what we don't believe in and what celebrations we don't want to take part in. But, in truth, not being tied to a particular "belief" about Christmas (i.e. Jesus was born that day) actually allows to be incredibly inclusive and take in parts of all different traditions that we feel comfortable with, as well as inventing our own traditions and celebrating our spiritual community's holiday- Children's Day.
Briefly, we come together as a community to celebrate Children's Day on or around the winter solstice. We celebrate the warmth and light our children shine into our lives and the lives of our sangha even on the darkest day of the year. There are songs and dance, games, and a visit from the King and Queen of Shambhala who bring sweets to the kids. Then there's a potluck celebration and usually a communal charitable giving (for instance canned goods for a local food pantry).
We're figuring out the rest. Trying to scale down the amount of material presents given and received from family is a big goal. We'd love to get it down to zero at some point. We've decided not to do the whole Santa Claus thing, deciding instead to tell Tiger about who St. Nick was as a person and how a myth has grown around him since his death that some people choose to believe. He can choose whichever path he likes - if he wants to participate in the game, so be it, but we won't be telling him that his gifts come from anyone other than his family. Christmas lights and trees are fun and great. Our nanny, her daughter and Tiger are making unbreakable ornaments and we'll pick out the tree this weekend.
For us, this time of year is about family, friends, community and just enjoyment of each other. The spirit of giving. We feel gifts are not necessary but we understand it's hard for others to leave that part behind. We are being careful to ask for specific things for Tiger. We don't allow plastic, light flashing, noise making toys in our house and tiger has limited tv time (the tv is never on in our house and we don't have cable). So we're trying to be firm but compassionate in asking people to adhere to what we want Tiger to have- always putting forth the message that he needs nothing except to see and talk to family on a regular basis- even though it's often over iChat due to geographical spread.
So we working through figuring out what the holidays will look like for our clan. Next year, Tiger will be old enough to start contributing to what becomes our traditions. He already is. He's decided he loves "carol of the bells" thoroughly so it's on repeat alot as he dances to it laughing with unbridled joy. And today, I got to take him to a special kid's version of the Nutcracker at this beautiful old theater we have in the area. You know- with the balconies and chandeliers. Beautiful. Anyway, me, Tiger, his amazing nanny and his BFF, our nanny's daughter, all went. Me and nanny questioned whether it was insane to bring a 15 month old to an hour long ballet but Tiger loves music. In the days leading up to it, I showed him YouTube clips of the ballet and we danced to the music. He did wonderful at the performance- really no crying and sat in my lap for much of it, eating snacks and watching the dancers, he clapped and cried "again! Again!" when something struck his fancy. When he would get restless, we'd stand at the back of our balcony and I'd hold him in my arms swaying to the music while we watched from there until he was ready to sit again. When he got fussy at the end, which was close to his nap time, I nursed him
In our seat while he watched the dancers with one eye.
It was a magical moment and although I'm sick as a dog with a bad cold, I was glad I rallied to make it happen. I love that ballet, the music is forever linked to the Christmases of my childhood because my mom had a four record (yes we only had records when I was young!) set of the suite. I remember it playing during the holidays as our soundtrack as we baked cookies and decorated. I remember that far more than the giant mounds of presents that were heaped upon us kids (me, my siblings and my cousins) every year. That stuff has no staying power- the nutcracker does, however. Those are the memories I want Tiger to have. I'm so glad for today. The presents we buy him mean nothing- his look of joy and wonder at ballerinas leaping high into the air is what is most important. How do you spend your holidays? What is most important to you? How do you work to avoid the stress and commercialism of the season?